Tonight/Today

Drinking from the cup of joy
My cup doth over runneth
If you told me that I would give birth to an angel 3 and 1/2 years ago, would I have believed you?
An angel, truly, because he could not stay on this earth for too long
And when he flew away, I thought that my soul did too
I did not want to stay on this earth any longer
Yet, my tree, my quercia, my love, my Mimmo mio
you held me down, you said we must fight on, that we needed to live
I did not believe in many moments that I could go on
And, yet, with you, I did
If you told me that on that angel’s Saint’s Day I would find out that I was pregnant once again, would I have believed you?
I carried that fiery spirit, knew her so well, knew her as my Sofia,
the one who I had always thought I would carry
And, even though I couldn’t believe it was possible
that I could give birth to a real live baby
You came, like a dancer making her grand solo finale
Leila said it was as if I did a pirouette, turned around, and caught you
And I cried, oh I cried, with joy
It was possible
If you told me that on my daughter’s first birthday in Italy, I would find out that I was to carry another one along in this journey, I don’t know if I’d have believed you
And, you, my boy of mystery and wonder,
My Phoenix, my Galileo, my Lion, my Star
You were familiar to me and yet unrequited
would we really do this all over again?
Yes, we did and you came on the full moon
at 12.12am, silent, yet so so present
Caught in the hands of our doula, Constance
who said catching you was like catching a waterfall
The team of doctors missed your birth
came rushing in, shocked, with mouths wide open
as I held you on my chest and you stared at me, stared at the walls,
no screaming, no dramatics (althought one could argue being birthed with no doctor in the room is pretty dramatic)
I said, well, you just didn’t want all that attention
I am complete
Mother to three
Wife to one
True to my spirit
Full of gratitude and love on this night here
holding you in my arms to sooth the pains of your new teeth as they come
Singing and laughing with your sister as I put her to sleep
running my finger up and down Mimmo’s side
tracing that strong body
I
am
so
damn
lucky
Well, perhaps, luck has nothing to do with it
But, if you told me I was the luckiest woman alive tonight
Not because I won some award
or everyone knows my name
but because I am complete
just as I am
in my house
with my whole family asleep as I type
I would believe you
Because you would be right